Psalm 38:3-4; 17-18; 21-22 (ESV)
3 There is no soundness in my flesh
because of Your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
because of my sin.
4For my iniquities have gone over my head;
like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me….
17 For I am ready to fall,
and my pain is ever before me.
18 I confess my iniquity;
I am sorry for my sin…
21 Do not forsake me, O LORD!
O my God, be not far form me!
Make haste to help me
O LORD, my salvation!
When we are living in a season of sinfulness, it’s written ALL over us. We may not be able to see it in the mirror but we know it’s true when we hear comments from our friends like “Is everything ok?” or “So, how are you REALLY?” The heaviness of these burdens, these unconfessed and often unrealized sins, is obvious not only to God but to those God has placed in our lives and in our own inner circles. We have become masters (some of us, at least) at disguising it and lying to our friends, family and especially to ourselves.
This summer I decided that I had waited long enough on God to fulfill a very specific promise to me. I told Him I was done believing Him about this happening and that I no longer even wanted what He had told me He had for me 2 years earlier. I was done. I couldn’t “do” it anymore. It was too painful to believe, to trust, to wait, and even to think about it.
I quit on God that day.
And this was one of the hardest summers of my 34 years. I cried almost daily and couldn’t really even tell you why. I became physically, mentally and spiritually fatigued and angry at those I love. I became incredibly insecure. In short, I honestly thought I was losing my mind. For weeks I was not recognizable as me. I was something very different and I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
Finally, at my wits end and out of total desperation I cried out to God and asked for His forgiveness for my sins of unbelief and willful separation from Him. I confessed my selfishness of only wanting Him for what He gave or did not give me.
And just like that…I was restored-to good health in my mind, body and spirit. In my relationships and in my faith. He showed me merciful and gracious signs conforming His original promise yet again.
And all because He allowed the grace for me to confess my sins to Him and cried out for His mercy and restoration.
He restored me mercifully.
There was once again “soundness in my flesh” (Verse 3), “health in bones” (Verse 3), and my strength, or better yet, HIS strength in me, returned and was even more than before.
And again, it showed all over me. The comments from friends changed, my relationships were restored and life, in general, was back to being defined by His joy and my faith in Him.
What is written all over YOU today? What is the condition of your flesh and your bones and your mind and spirit today? If you just can’t put your finger on whatever it is that’s bringing you down, spend some time in quiet prayer and reflection and then confession and repentance. The restoration will come, I promise. But most importantly, He promises. And His promises are written not only all over His book, but also all over you as well.
***This was written as part of the She Shares Truth experiment…Go to http://shereadstruth.com/2014/03/07/shesharestruth/ to read more!***